Can Gen-Z’ers Remain Romantically Pure?

What’s it like being a single “twenty-something” committed to Jesus in America today?

That’s the question I posed during a recent sit-down with three single women from our church. All of them are faithful to Christ, educated, hard-working, and walking through the dating landscape of Southern California with spiritual eyes wide open. I think you’ll be blessed by their honesty and encouraged by their convictions.

THEIR STRUGGLE

Let’s start with some sobering context.

According to the Barna Group, four out of ten (40%) American adults claim to be “born again” Christians and believe they’re headed to heaven when they die. But dig a little deeper, and only a small slice of those actually align with biblical definitions of salvation. Barna found that only 7% of American adults believe in the existence of Satan, trust salvation through faith alone (not good works), hold that Jesus lived a sinless life, affirm the Bible’s total accuracy, and believe God is the all-powerful, all-knowing Creator who still rules today.

If that’s accurate then in a country of 350(ish) million people, we’ve got fewer than 25 million true, Bible-believing Christians. Let’s cut that in half to account for those who are married. That leaves about 12 million unmarried believers. And if we split the genders evenly? That’s 6 million God-fearing single women… and only 6 million God-fearing single men.

Now, toss in a culture of compromise, a media glorifying hookup culture, and even some churches hesitant to preach clear truth on sexual purity, and the odds of finding a truly godly spouse feel slimmer than ever.

THEIR INTERVIEW

The women I met with are representative of many young Christian women today—bright, educated, employed, and on fire for Christ. They range from 24 to 28 years old and have walked through past relationships that, by God’s grace, drove them deeper into faith. What follows is a window into our conversation. My questions are italicized, and their answers follow. 

How does a Christian woman find a true Christian man in Orange County?
“We’ve tried all the things—church events, softball leagues, even Christian dating sites. But online dating was hard. Somewhere in the back of our heads, we always hear our dads’ voices saying, ‘Don’t chase men… the right man will find you.’”

What do you feel when you’re around your married friends?
“It’s a catch-22. I love that they’ve found godly husbands—it gives me hope. But it also stings a little. It’s a reminder of what I haven’t found yet.”\

Can you tell the difference between a ‘professing’ Christian guy and a real-deal Christian man?
“Oh yes, definitely. Everyone can impress on the first date. But within a couple hours I can tell if he knows the Word, is committed to a Bible-preaching church, and treats people with Christ-like respect. I can tell even more by meeting his friends—it’s the ‘show me your friends and I’ll show you your future’ principle.” 

What do you tell other women who are hurting and waiting?
“First, God is bigger than relationships. Second, this is a season for undistracted devotion to Him. Third, the kind of godly man we’re hoping for is looking for a truly godly woman… so we need to be preparing ourselves.”

Have you noticed any blessings to singlehood your married friends don’t experience?
“Yes. I’ve learned that joy doesn’t come from a husband. Only God gives joy. I think that lesson is going to help me be a better wife one day. And honestly, I’ve gotten to travel, serve overseas, and watch ‘real life’ unfold without the Cinderella filter. Some of my friends who married young haven’t had that clarity yet.”

How can a church support single men and women better?
“Give us healthy ways to connect with godly people (laughs). But more than that, we need community rooted in God’s Word. Help us see this life is short and eternity is long. We need biblical teaching about marriage, roles, and singlehood. We need the church to lift up the value of singleness too—not just marriage.”

THEIR BIBLICAL HOPE

I’m grateful these young women are clinging to Scripture, not culture.

The Apostle Paul, writing to a hyper-sexualized Corinthian church, addresses the very question they’re asking: “Should I marry?” (1 Corinthians 7:1). His answer might shock modern ears—“It’s good not to marry.” (v. 8). Paul makes it clear: Marriage is a gift. And singlehood is also a gift.

If you’re single today, you’re not cursed. You’re not forgotten. And you’re certainly not spiritually inferior. You are blessed, and your life can be maximized for the glory of God.

John MacArthur once said, “Some of you have the gift of singleness and it’s suitable to you. Some of you are single and don’t think you have the gift. But in the current state you’re in, God will use it for good. You can enjoy the benefits of singleness until God fulfills your desire.”

Paul lists several specific benefits of singleness:

#1 – The World Is Dangerous

“I think it is good in view of the present distress…” (1 Cor 7:26)

Paul wrote during Nero’s reign, a time when Christians were set on fire, fed to lions, and hunted like criminals. While our American context hasn’t reached that level, the tide is turning fast. Holding to biblical conviction today can cost you your job, your friends, and your reputation. Jesus warned that even family bonds would be tested: “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.” (Matthew 10:37)

When persecution comes, emotional attachments can hinder spiritual courage. A single believer is unburdened in that moment—freer to stand boldly for Christ.

#2 – Marriage Comes with Struggles

“If you marry, you have not sinned… but you will have trouble in this life.” (v. 28)

That “trouble” isn’t theoretical. It’s real. Two sinners in one house equals double the chances for sin—anger, selfishness, pride, bitterness. Even the best marriages require daily death to self. With divorce, domestic abuse, and gender confusion on the rise, the world’s view of marriage is warped. Even within the church, without strong discipleship and biblical commitment, many struggle. 

Marriage is a high calling. But it’s hard. The single person is spared from many of those burdens. 

#3 – Marriage Is Temporary

“The time has been shortened… those who have wives should be as though they had none…” (v. 29)

Paul isn’t downplaying marriage—he’s elevating eternity. In heaven, marriage won’t exist (Matt 22:30). Only one relationship will remain—between the believer and Christ.

C.T. Studd said it well: “Only one life, ‘twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”

The single believer is more easily freed from earthly distractions and can keep their eyes on the finish line—eternity.

#4 – Singlehood Allows Undistracted Devotion

“…to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.” (v. 35)

The Greek word here means “without anxiety.” The single person has bandwidth the married person does not. No carpool schedules. No date nights. No divided responsibilities. Just open calendar space to pursue God, serve others, and advance the gospel.

The Puritans used to call the home “The Little Church.” And rightly so. A married man who fails to lead at home is unqualified to lead in the church. Marriage limits mission—and rightly so. But singleness unleashes it. 

CONCLUSION

Marriage is a God-ordained blessing. So is singleness. And if these three women are any example, then godly singlehood can be joyful, fruitful, and deeply fulfilling.

To my knowledge, none of them see their singleness as permanent. But all three view it as a providential gift for this season. They aren’t waiting with bitterness. They’re living with purpose.

As one of them said before we wrapped up, “I’m tired of authors telling us Christian girls to ‘wait.’ They need to start telling us to ‘live!’”

Amen. If you’re single and in Christ, don’t waste the gift. Use it.

____

* Within two years of this interview, two of the three were married.